


Happiness is What Makes You Cry

by AnotherWorld3111



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Episode S15e18 Despair, castiel (mentioned) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:53:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27413029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherWorld3111/pseuds/AnotherWorld3111
Summary: Just... read the goddamn tags
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 22
Kudos: 392





	Happiness is What Makes You Cry

**Author's Note:**

> This isn’t how I thought I’d return to writing, but writing has always been one of my most effective coping mechanisms, and I’m so not coping right now, so. Here we go.

“So... Cas is really dead?”

Dean didn’t say anything. Eyes on his shoes, unseeing, he nodded. Sam’s words were the only thing he was registering, even Baby’s normally cool and soothing metal behind him lost on his numb senses.

Sam blinked, swallowing as he processed what Dean had managed to convey. Turning away from Dean, Sam slowly leaned against Baby’s hood as well, far more expressions flitting across his face than Dean could even feel within himself.

“I-I can’t believe it.” Sam’s voice was so quiet, as if he hadn’t dared to actually say the words, like they’d slipped out without his conscious consent. His tone matched his words as, after his throat worked furiously, he went on. “He-he sacrificed himself–”

His brother was still trying to process. Dean could understand it at any other moment.

Right now, he was a stark contrast to his brother, while still being the same.

Sam still wasn’t talking about Eileen, and Dean...

Dean got the hint and shut up about Eileen, but Sam didn’t know. Did he?

How could he, when Dean himself hadn’t known, hadn’t figured out what was  _ right in front of him _ until it was too late—

“He said he loved me.” Dean’s voice sounded distant to his own ears, as muddled as a it had been when he’d met up with Sam after... after everything, and had to recap what happened on his own end.

Beside him, his brother stilled. Apart from turning his head to look at Dean, he didn’t say anything. Silently prompting Dean to go on. If he so wished.

Dean didn’t know anything anymore.

“He-he said he loved me, a-and I couldn’t even—” — _couldn’t_ _say it back, didn’t even get the chance, not even a second to take it in_ —  “—and then he pushed me away, and l-let the Empty take him and Billie—”

The Empty’s vile black slime shooting out from a portal, latching onto Cas, wrapping around him as his best friend  _smiled_ ,  eyes closed –

Dean raised helpless eyes at Sam, crushed and hopeless.

Nothing mattered anymore.

His words were choked out, caught on a unrestrained sob. “Sammy. Cas-Cas is  _gone_.”


End file.
